I Didn't Know If I Could Do This

At the beginning of the year I started working on something. I didn’t fully know what it was yet. I just knew I had to come up with something for the people I work with, something that wouldn’t scare them off before they even got started.

What excited me most was that I could build a lot of it myself, because of AI. I didn’t need to wait on anyone else’s timeline.

Then came the crazy part. I let my web guy go. Not lost him, let him go, which is a different thing and a harder one. And around the same time, the platform everything was built on disappeared out from under me. I had to rebuild the whole thing from scratch.

I doubted myself through most of that stretch. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

Here’s what I know now that I didn’t know then. There’s a reason things happen the way they happen. This never would have come together the way it did without the shifts that fell apart first. The rebuild wasn’t a delay. It was the thing that made the final version possible.

And now that it’s up, I’m proud of it. Genuinely proud, in a way I wasn’t sure I’d get to feel.

I’ve also realized something else, something I’m a little angry about. I have something real to offer. I’ve had it for a while. I watch creators out there using language I’ve been using for a year, and instead of that stinging, I’ve decided to take it as a compliment.

But I’m still annoyed it took me this long to believe that about myself.

The woman who started this at the beginning of the year didn’t know if she could do it. The woman writing this today already did it. That’s the whole distance. That’s the whole story.

Curious what I built? Come see it: www.yoursmartstack.com