Going Out While Going Gray – Can I Do It??
Could I go out while going gray? My experience in Las Vegas last week, which I share in this week’s Little White Lie FB Live show, made me realize that things are getting REAL now in this Little White Lie journey of mine! You can watch the show here:
I knew when I started the process of growing out my hair to its natural color that I had this Las Vegas conference coming up. Pumped from the wonderful support I’ve been getting in Cyberland and the encouraging interviews I’ve had with image experts, I expected to rock the nightlife in Vegas in all my black-and-white glory….
It didn’t quite turn out that way…The little Mindset Gremlin got packed in my suitcase along with my clothes. I found myself not wanting to dress up, and comparing myself to the “beautiful people,” not feeling all that beautiful myself. Could it be that I can’t carry this off? Could it be that I too am experiencing the common fear of “losing attractiveness and becoming invisible?”
As I’ve been thinking about this since the trip, I’ve realized my mindset had sabotaged my going out and having a good time. OK, time to reset!
Little White Lie Reality Checks
# 1 Any transition that’s worthwhile does not happen in a straight line:
We go forward, back a little, sideways, then forward again. It’s all part of the journey.
Also, I did some more research on the “invisibility factor,” and found as many different opinions about it as articles. There are studies that show that women start to feel invisible around the age of 50. They feel when they walk into a room they’re no longer noticed by men. Then there are the women who are so happy to be past the stage of catcalls and being judged on their looks instead of the quality of their character or their work. One article will tell you to start dressing your age. Another will tell you there are no rules for how to dress when you’re over 50.
# 2 What does [fill in the age] actually “look like?”
What are we chasing here? Ever been asked your age, and the other person says, “You’re kidding! You look so much younger – fabulous!” It’s our choice to be thrilled, or to wonder if the person would be saying the same thing if we were 20 or 30 years old or, for that matter, a man of any age! Or, we can consider Gloria Steinem’s response when a reporter told her, “You don’t look 40.” She shot back: “This is what 40 looks like. We’ve been lying so long, who would know?” Her point is that society had an outdated view of what a woman of 40 looked like…as she continues to show us what 50 looks like, and 60, and 80…
We could keep living this type of Little White Lie….OR we can choose to step into whatever age we are, and rock it! How visible would that be?
# 3 We are going to get old – suck it up and face it!
As my mom says, “It’s going to happen to you whether you want it to or not.” All things being equal, we can expect to live into our 80s, and a typical ‘retirement age’ doesn’t even exist anymore. So let’s shift our mindset to step up to this new expectancy a la Ms Steinem. That means looking objectively at the aspects of aging we should be paying attention to – mainly the best physical, emotional and financial health possible. And while we’re at it, rock our look!
